Joy matters. I actually believe that our personal joy (yours and mine) adds to the joy of the world, tilting the scales, however minutely, toward a more blissful world for all.
How much responsibility are you willing to take for the joy in your life? What would it take for you to stop, notice and shift gears when the messiness of life sends you into a tailspin? In a previous blog post I spoke about how, because of a scary diagnosis/prognosis, I found myself in a less-than-joyful frame of mind. There are MANY things I did/continue doing to find my way every day into a more resilient, connective, possibility-oriented state of mind.
I want to talk about “Happy MESS.” I now realize that even before I was blessed to become connected with JOYELY® I was already learning the skills that have now evolved into a process called the Chair of Joy™, a simply super-effective way to shift into joy – or, at the very least, into a more effective state of mind, like gratitude or ease – quickly and reliably. And one of my best teachers has been my son. My husband Mel and I often clink wine glasses as we offer a toast to “happiness.”
When our son Reid was young, he would sometimes raise his juice glass and chime in. “Happy MESS” he would giggle because that is what he thought we were saying. (He was so cute about it that we never corrected him.)
Thinking about it now, there is something very real about being able to celebrate all the natural and inevitable messes in our lives. What very young children, and those of us who have learned a bit along life’s journey, know is that things do not need to be perfect or pristine for joy to be present. As Martha Washington explained, “I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.” Perhaps the whole point of life is simply to seek the joy and fullness to be found moment by precious moment, even in times of “dis-ease.”
And what is the happy mess-happiness-joy continuum anyway? Happiness was deemed an important enough concept for our founding fathers to actually guarantee our right to pursue it. The field of Positive Psychology posits that happiness is the sense of joy and contentment that comes from leading a fulfilling life. To further clarify this rather amorphous term, the fulfilling life has been defined as one that includes the savoring of pleasures, times of rapt attention and engagement, and activities and accomplishments that provide a personal sense of purpose and meaning. I have actually taken this whole concept to heart and spend time each evening journaling about specific ways my life has felt fulfilling that day.
Here’s the challenge: To quote yet another wise soul, it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “We may search the world over for joy but unless we carry it within us, we will not find it.” And so the questions become… How much joy do you carry within you? How disposed are you to seeking out something more enduring than transient experiences of happiness? How much fulfillment are you able to create along the way?
If you care to reminisce about/generate/share your own “Happy Mess” moment, I would love to hear about it. Minx@CoachMinx.com. Thank you.
“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.”
≈Milton Erickson, M.D.
Attribute Photo by Akshar Dave🌻 on Unsplash
The Book of Joy by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu (which I have read twice!)
“We are fragile creatures, and it is from this weakness, not despite it, that we discover the possibility of true joy.” – Archbishop Desmond Tutu (who is dealing with a recurrence of prostate cancer)
I invite you to pull up/conjure up a Chair of Joy and Sit. Breathe. Think. Feel into the messiness in your own life and how you are moving beyond moping and even beyond coping to something more possibility-oriented, uplifting, and expansive.
how many sweet pleasures
are you willing to gather up
like wildflowers on a glorious day
and could you allow yourself
to become intoxicated
beyond right or reason and
simply bask in the miracles
blossoming every way everywhere?
how much bliss is there
in the whole wide world
is there some predetermined plan
for measuring and doling out
morsels and bits and pieces
of happiness earned in some
arbitrary or exacting way and
must you wait your turn
and accept your ration
or is there a more loving
blessed way and, if so, how?
and how might you open your arms
wide enough to embrace an abundance
of blessings and then
how much joy could you
scatter if you simply
opened your heart
your mind your coffers
of experience and caches
of wisdom offering all
that you have and all that
you are to the four directions
without hesitation, without asking why?
how joy-filled do you dare to be
and, if not now, then when?
from the heart, mind, and pen of Minx
©2024 Minx Boren. All rights reserved.
It’s time to immerse ourselves completely in the conversation of joy, to prioritize it above most things.. There’s no time to wait; it’s a matter of life and death.
Your Answer Matters!
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