This is a very personal exploration into how and why the whole concept of JOY while dealing with cancer might not be an oxymoron. No, I am not being a Pollyanna. Far from it. I am what I would call a hope-focused pragmatist. And what research tells us is that joy is our most resilient, productive, effective, and life affirming state of being. When we can tap into a deep and abiding gratitude and appreciation for LIFE itself, for the gift of our time here on earth and for the plethora of experiences and connections that make that life worth living, the whole idea of reaching for joy as both a comforting and energizing state of mind and a lifeline become worthy of consideration.
In a conversation with my oncologist, I asked him about moving through and beyond a stage 4 diagnosis to full recovery. In his experience, those who are best able to manage their stress and anxiety tend to fare better in the long run, have more energy and willpower to take good care of themselves, and are more likely to go into remission. If that is so, then anything I can do to dial down stress and dial up a sense of peace and ease can be steps in the right direction.
Every morning now, one of my first healing rituals is to Sit. Breathe. Think. Feel. As I consciously take my seat, I actually remind myself that doing so is an act of self-love and reverence for the gift of this day. As I connect wholeheartedly with my every breath, I repeat to myself “BREATHE in ease, BREATHE out peace” until I can settle into this spaciousness of time I am consciously dedicating to my wellbeing. Then I THINK about a moment of joy (or, if that is too much of a stretch, a moment of gratitude) and allow my whole Self to be filled with the memories that come flooding in. Sometimes I shift my thoughts to the future, as I bring to mind a positive outcome I am envisioning, holding it in my mind’s eye in great detail and with the conviction that this is already unfolding into reality. Finally, I let go of all the particulars and simply allow myself to FEEL what I feel, noticing what peace and ease and joy feel like in my body. Then, as I move into my day, I bring that feeling with me. Honestly, for me this is both inspiring and magical.
At night I do another Chair of JOY ritual, this time focusing on something/anything good, kind, sweet, hopeful, joyful, comforting, life-affirming that transpired during the day. I am discovering that there is always something, even on the toughest days…information, guidance, resources, a gift of comfy pjs or the perfect sleep mask. I have only to remember to pay attention and take note. Research in Positive Psychology confirms that one of the most effective practices on the road to wellbeing and a sense of fulfillment is to keep a gratitude journal and write down three good things, three blessings, or three special moments of gratitude that took place during the day.
It is said that what we focus on is what we create more of in our lives. So, perhaps you would like to try this with me. Ask yourself at day’s end, “What made today wonderful?” And then take time to notice how those events and experiences felt in your bodymind. Take those good feelings to bed with you to seed your dreams with positivity and possibility. My doctor says that my two most important “jobs” right now are (1) to believe in myself, in the capacity of my body to be whole and strong and to believe in the choices I am making to get well AND (2) to get enough deep, healing sleep. There’s lots I could share about both these “jobs” and focusing on gratitude, joy, well-being is a great place to begin.
If you care to experiment with me, please share with me what you notice. Minx@CoachMinx.com. I really would like to know. Thank you.
Contact Minx Boren
“Healing is simply attempting to do more of those things that bring joy into your life.”
– O. Carl Simonton
Healing Is A Journey by Minx Boren MCC
Recently, because of a scary diagnosis/prognosis, I found myself in a less-than-joyful frame of mind. I am a firm believer that none of us is wise enough alone and so, especially when the going gets rough, the best strategy is to call a friend to walk-talk you through the craziness. So I called Sheryl Lynn, founder of Joyely®, and asked her to do a Chair of Joy with me. Notice that this first request was not to ask her to strategize with me or analyze how to deal with what I would need to handle or help me discuss/discount the reality of what I was facing. What I was seeking first and foremost was a way to BE with the what’s-so-ness of the situation in this moment. And so Sheryl, in her inimitably creative way, asked me to take my seat on a magic carpet and hang on for a ride high above the immediate concerns and into a future moment in a completely nurturing space where I felt safe, loved, relaxed, and healed. It was quite simply life-changing. Nowadays, I take a magic carpet ride almost daily to the most amazingly inspiring and joy-replenishing places.
I invite you to grab your own carpet or kite, winged chair or whirligig and take yourself for a spin.
breathe in
expand and receive life
breathe out
let that which no longer serves you fall away
breathe in
allow grace to enter your heart
breathe out
usher out all that would sully your holy space
breathe in
be inspired by miracles all around you
breathe out
gently exhale mundane concerns
breathe in
invite the gift of life’s creative force into each cell
breathe out
release spent energy and in exchange
breathe in
the refreshing newness and possibility of just this moment
breathe out
fears, fatigue, frustrations that would weigh you down
breathe in
and let life fill you with joy
breathe out
offer the precious gift of your SELF to the world
from the heart, mind, and pen of Minx
©1983-2024 Minx Boren. All rights reserved. PLEASE SHARE with attribution.
It’s time to immerse ourselves completely in the conversation of joy, to prioritize it above most things.. There’s no time to wait; it’s a matter of life and death.
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